Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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