did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
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Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
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Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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