his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
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we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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