It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
my poor anus
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
