I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
