'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
