It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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