R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
