She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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