Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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