Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
