I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
