oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
