Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Green mimosas i think yes
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
