you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I am midnight drunk by noon
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
