no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
