Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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