the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
