so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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