so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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