Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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