White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
