24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
