i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
