Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
