I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Randomize
