Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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