I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I don't deserve a penis
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
