Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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