If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Just high enough for therapy.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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