I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
