You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
