i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
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dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
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She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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