And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
