yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
