I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
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