you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
