and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize