what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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