I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Randomize
