I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize