I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
