Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
