Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
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I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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