whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
