I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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