Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
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I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
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And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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