Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
