I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
