Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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