Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize