We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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