OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
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Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
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This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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