Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
