apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
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