I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.