So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF