I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize