It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
