i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
