She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
