So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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