who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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