i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
